Excerpt from Book 2: 1962 May: Diane

This excerpt is where Simon is exploring his sexuality and has his first full sexual experience with a girl.

1962 May

As the Spring warmth returned, he and Diane resumed their walks and visits to the barn. Both were now in the throes of their 'O' level GCEs but the talk was rarely of the exams. They wanted to escape with each other for a time. They lay in the barn, discussing the dramatic escape of a group of East Germans under the Berlin Wall

"Just one of the things that's so good about you is the way you're interested in things, like what's on the news."

"And that's just one of the things that's good about you, too," she said, amused.

That warm May afternoon, they lay in the barn, coat spread on the hay, talking and kissing, putting exam pressure away for a few hours. Simon felt desire rising in him, and Diane, noticing the physical evidence of this, started removing Simon's clothes. Quickly he responded and soon, for the first time they were both completely naked together, passion eating them up, their joint arousal reaching new heights. Simon thought he had not felt arousal like this for months, his whole body burning with desire for consummation.

He buried his face between her firm breasts, she put her leg around his and rolled onto her back, pulling him with her. She ran her hands down Simon's back to his buttocks in the move so familiar to him. He lifted his face and kissed her, his hardness pressing against her as she opened to him.

"Are you sure?" he whispered. She simply nodded frantically and pulled him down. He felt the entry, taut and warm. Slowly and carefully he pressed in, watching her face for any sign of distress, there was none. He was now in as deep as he could go, moving gently while Diane trembled with each slow movement. So Simon continued, adapting the skills he had learned over many years to his new situation. The words 'sex is about giving' kept running through his mind. He felt Diane's arousal mounting and then rapidly, their bodies combining their movements for the greatest stimulation, lost in an erotic trance as their bodies raced together towards the finale. As Diane's body climaxed beneath him he could let his own orgasm come, their two bodies united in simultaneous pleasure. Simon felt jubilant, confident, rampant, triumphant. They lay panting together, bodies still fused, Diane's body gripping his softening penis, trying to hold on to the bliss as long as possible.

Still lying above her he whispered gently in her ear, "Fire, Fire, fire down below. Fetch a bucket of water boys, there's fire down below." She smiled, running her hands up and down his back.

He withdrew and lay beside her, then reaching over, he kissed her gently.

"You're fantastic," he said simply.

"So are you, but you've had practice," she smiled back, her soft eyes looking back at him.

"Haven't you?" he hedged.

"No. You're my first, all the way that is," she said.

"Oh God, I'm sorry," said Simon, the thought of having stolen her virginity disturbing him.

"Why are you sorry? I'm not. It was super. I knew you'd done it before so I knew it would be good."

What could he say? "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course you can, what?"

Simon hesitated. "That was my first time too." He nearly added 'with a girl' but bit his lip in time. And of course it had been Daniel who was the leader in their affair.

"Really? You're not just saying that to make me feel better or something?"

"Really. Honest. I know people think I'm some of kind Casanova, but I'm not."

"I know Martin thinks you are, he warned me about you."

"When?"

"Ages ago. Really true? You were a virgin too?" Simon nodded. She reached up and kissed him. "You're sweet, you really are," she said.

"I suppose we could get into trouble. We're both still fifteen," said Simon.

"How? You going to get your Mam to put it in the Bilthaven Mail?"

They laughed and got dressed, and arms around each other, walked back to the farm houses. They met Martin, shotgun on his arm.

"Hi."

"Get anything?" asked Simon.

"Rats," said Martin, and then seeing that more was required, added, "By the stream." He joined them walking along. "You OK, Diane?" he asked unexpectedly, looking at strands of hay clinging to their clothing.

Diane nodded and looked up at Simon, he smiled back. There was an indefinable electricity between them.

Martin gave them a searching look, and smiled to himself, nodding slightly. He knows! thought Simon.

Later he said as much to Diane, while in the dairy changing the churn.

"So?" she said. "He can only be guessing, and even if he does, it doesn't matter."

Riding home, it occurred to Simon that at fifteen he had lost his virginity at a younger age than Daniel, with a girl, anyway. Had he had sex with a girl by now? What was her name? The girl at the swimming club he talked about? Janice, that was it. And then, did losing one's virginity have only to be with the opposite sex? Had Daniel lost his virginity with him, Simon, already? Simon mused on this as he rode back to the flat in Swiford, and decided it didn't matter anyway. He was feeling very pleased with himself.

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