The 21:15 from Newcastle
That sounds a bit like an Agatha Christie title, and it's certainly a mystery.
I travel frequently between Durham and Newcastle, a 12 minute run. I usually have nothing but praise for LNER and their efficient service but on 13 August 2025 it was a farce.
For the benefit of those unfamiliar, LNER stands for London North East Railway, which runs services from London to the north of England and Scotland. But on that day Ludicrous No-driver Excuse Railway would have been more appropriate.
On time, the 21:15 train pulled in to Newcastle on its journey south to London. I got on, found a seat, and waited for the 12 minute journey to Durham, the first stop, to start. I should be home for about 21:45. The minutes ticked away. At about 21:20 the train manager announced that the train now had no driver (crews often change at Newcastle) because the driver and guard were coming by train which was delayed. It would be half an hour. A few moans but then people sat down and waited. I settled down to use the time for reading and editing a friend's book. Time ticked by as we sat at Platform 3 waiting for the driver to arrive.
At 21:54 we were told that the driver had just left Darlington on his way north so it would be another half hour at least because when he or she arrives, they may have to have a statutory break.
By this time, some passengers were getting off. There seemed to be a lot of teenagers making a lot of noise now, which did nothing for my 79 year old stress levels. Two silly teenage girls in particular were talking loudly and singing. They were having fun but those around them were not. They decided to climb up and lie on the luggage racks! They noticed me looking at them and they started making remarks about "Granddad". They had noticed my white cane because I am visually impaired and commented about that too. I don't think they knew its significance. There was an announcement which their noise rendered inaudible.
At 22;37 the train manager announced that the train would depart in 10 or 15 minutes. On board the disruption continued from the two brain dead girls and now teenage males running up and down the train carrying cans of beer and demonstrating their testosterone levels by shouting to each other incomprehensibly, presumably in some youth language alien to me.
22:45 Announcement that there was an LNER train now on platform 4 that would depart first. It would also call at Durham. Everybody started heaving the bags and scuttling across to the already crowded train on platform 4. I found a seat, mercifully away from the two girls. We waited, full of hope and expectation. Soon to be dashed
22:50 This second train on platform 4 has no driver. (What are they doing to them all?) The advice is to board the LNER train standing at platform 3. Yes, the train we've all just got off! With looks of disbelief everybody gathered their bags and access yet again and re-scuttled back to the original 21:15 train still on platform 3. Very crowded but I found a seat. Stress levels all round, not just mine, somewhat elevated.
22:52. The first train which we were all now back on, moved! Hopefully, it had a driver. Just 97 minutes late for my 12 minute journey. As passengers streamed off at Durham I was making my way along the platform and was almost knocked over from behind by two teenage girls running or skipping at speed through the crowds, shouting as they went. Ye, the same two morons.
23: 20. I got home. I have no idea anybody travelling all the way to London got there.
Usually efficient LNER must be using some kind of "just-in-time" human resources system, so beloved of Thatcherite economists. When it works no doubt it is efficient as far as company profitability is concerned but such a system is vulnerable and has little resilience. My own resilience was certainly tested that night.